Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Playground Fight

I don't know about you, but I've always wondered how many children I could take in a fight. I mean, obviously one on one it would be a mismatch, but what if there were ten of them? Twenty? More? This is the kind of problem which keeps me awake at night - this and my worrying addiction to Pokemon.

Finally now though, I can rest easy. A friend sent a link to me on the Stalkapedia that is Facebook that solved this particular worry. That's right, a test can now be taken to determine, with an astonishing degree of accuracy, how many five year olds a specific person could beat in a fight. My results have finally come through, and I proudly report them back to you.


Thirty-one! Brilliant, eh? That means I could happily teach an average class of five year olds with no fear of insurrection. Now if anyone could tell me how many golf balls you'd have to hit at a cow to topple it, I can finally get some shut-eye..


Gav said...

Apparently, the only way to kill a lion is by rear naked choke.

Bas Rutten says he'd just kick it in the head.

DanX said...

But could you take a lion if you had access to a range of throwing knives? That's the burning question..

Juniper said...

I took the 'how many small snotty things can you take in a fight' test thing a year or two ago and I couldn't remember my results. I looked at yours though and thought yeah I'd be able to take a load of 5 year olds out. Bring it on!

I took the test again.

Turns out I can only take 12.


Man, if I ever work in a nursery I am toast.

DanX said...

Twelve?! Jenni that's poor. Way poor. You need to get some training in with Tom.

Anna said...

I remember doing that a while ago, and got an abysmal score due to my ethics. Stupid ethics. What if they were zombies? Different story then!

DanX said...

Mah. Children, zombies, what's the difference?

Having honed my tactics through discussion with Rich, I reckon I could get past forty now. If only there were some way to find out..

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