Finally now though, I can rest easy. A friend sent a link to me on the Stalkapedia that is Facebook that solved this particular worry. That's right, a test can now be taken to determine, with an astonishing degree of accuracy, how many five year olds a specific person could beat in a fight. My results have finally come through, and I proudly report them back to you.
Thirty-one! Brilliant, eh? That means I could happily teach an average class of five year olds with no fear of insurrection. Now if anyone could tell me how many golf balls you'd have to hit at a cow to topple it, I can finally get some shut-eye..